Updated: Jan 16
A few times in my life, I've starkly challenged the Beloved (even when I didn't know I was doing it) to change some stubborn circumstance that was unbearable. Each time, there's been a resultant series of severe whacks, then about a year later I see how something changed fundamentally for the better.
Reflecting on our journeys, honouring our achievements, and tuning into our spiritual lessons are very valuable, especially now with Mercury and Venus both retrograde. It's prime time now, but extends until 23 February for Mercury, and 1 March for Venus to complete their shadow periods. Both planets join with mega transformer Pluto, taking us on a deep death'n'rebirth dive so we can get right into those chunks.
We can more easily look back on how we learned all the right lessons with each challenge, seeing where doubt has long been replaced with confidence and hope. We are stronger, wiser, more experienced people as we evolve through life, and it's good to pause and see the progress.
A few reflections
There are key points in life where we learn big lessons. The more brutal way I went about creating at earlier life stages brought me to realise I can claim what I want (if I'm brave enough, because if a manifestation requires ending a soul contract or some old energy, it can get gnarly out in the field of grounded life as well as internally) with minimal suffering.
A few examples of making major heartfelt claims or requests and what I learned... each example shows evolution in how manifestations are brought home.
1) When I was 27 I unexpectedly moved to London after being fired in disgrace from a highly coveted job in a PR consultancy, and dumped yet again by the same bad news boyfriend I couldn't stay away from. I felt I was losing myself, and swore two major oaths in response, one positive and one harmful.
The positive one was to never take any shit from a boyfriend again. Six months later, I met Wayne, who unfailingly treats me as a Queen. The harmful one was to never be 'too much' again and to keep my head down and be agreeable so I could succeed. Big mistake - it took a lot to recover from, teaching me we must be careful what we wish for.
2) In 2013, I participated in a full moon ritual where we burned a piece of paper with a fear to release. Mine was 'fear of my own power'. I had to retrieve my paper from the edges of the fire three times as it wasn't catching, each time increasing my commitment until it took light. The next month I suddenly began an experience that saw me facing major demons and nearly sent me mad, landed me in hospital with a nervous system 'syndrome' and left me with terrorised insomnia requiring big pharma every night to get any sleep at all.
I don't know if I would have gotten off the pills and healed without ITA energy medicine - my neurologist said I'd probably never soothe my nervous system enough to get off sleeping pills, but I did.
Again, through this experience I learned to be careful what you wish for. I came on too strong in my command for transformation, putting myself through massive suffering. But incredibly, I also learned to stand to and shut the door on some big shadow, the hard and fast way, and to not give my power away to lower consciousness. It remains the worst experience of my life but I see the benefit - I learned to say 'you have no power over me' to what seemed to have the most power over me. That was only one step in the ongoing journey to embracing my power, but an important one.
3) Early in 2020, I was so frustrated and hopeless regarding creating our own home, after 10 years of renting following the loss of our family home due to (at some level) the 2008 global financial crisis which hit Wayne's architectural business hard. Much happened in those 10 years as we tried to regain our own home and couldn't. In the bathroom one morning, I said to the Beloved - 'Enough... push it forward, I'll do what I must'. I knew the familiar feeling of these claims and I was rather nervous, as I should've been because what followed was intense.
A few weeks after, the landlord strode up the driveway on Easter Sunday waving an eviction notice with a very rude 'I want you out!' statement, after having been sweet as pie for 3.5 years. It led to three court visits and we won the case, but the events it set into play led to us miraculously buying our own home in December 2021 in the suburb we'd lost our previous family home... how that happened is a huge story that spans eons. Major soul contracts were completed and miracles occurred.
Navigating what my soul asked of me was assisted enormously by Melaney Ryan through our ITA sessions - a central learning was that I can and must stand in my power while remaining gentle, and that being harsh and fighting what attacks me prevented my growth and success. I was pushed to master the masculine boundaries and feminine gentleness out in the rough field of life.
Using astrology also helped, and showed me even further how precisely big astro activations align with life events and the essence of the energy they are changing.
Onwards Some of the most important creations we're working on realising may still need an added level of understanding to graduate to a higher level and enjoy real success. We can look back at past experiences and acknowledge how far we've come and what we learned along the way.
It may surprise us with how much we achieved. This reflection may also be what we need to bring a key creation to its final stages.
If loose ends still remain, we can more easily see how to bring them to completion in retrograde times, so dig in.